25/03/2017

APRIL 2017

Just in the nick of time, Wilson has prepared the latest page of his Calendar part-work: APRIL 2017

The picture shows Wilson relaxing while dreaming about the crop in his Tomato Farm growing, flowering, fruiting, ripening and generally taking care of itself.
🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅


Oh, if only it had turned out like that...



24/03/2017

RED NOSE DAY

Mole keeps wandering round in the new glasses Billi has given him, asking, 'What's that?' about things he's never been able to see before.

Things like the TV, the armchair, me, the huge red thing on the end of Wilson's nose etc.


Wilson is wearing his Red Nose while watching Sara Cox's 24-hour 80s Dance Marathon on TV. I'm pretty sure he fancies Sarah Cox, because he can't take his eyes off the screen while she's on, and he blushes whenever I mention her name! 


The comedic but charitable nose is quite uncomfortable, but W told me that he's wearing it for Miss Sara: 'If she can dance for 24 hours,' he said, 'this is the least I can do in return!'


Meanwhile the Johnson Brothers, whose probosces are too tiny to wear prosthetic noses, played football with some spares left over from previous Red Nose Days.


I asked W how the April instalment of his Calendar part-work was coming along — he said not to worry, he'd get round to it as soon as Ms Sara's Dance-a-thon ended.



22/03/2017

COLD CASE

Mole has told Polly that thinks he might like a pair of glasses Like Billi's, on account of hardly being able to see anything at all. 

Once he'd tried Billi's on he said he thinks they may help him look for Uncle Z. 


Even though the investigation into Uncle Z's disappearance has now been officially declared a Cold Case, he says it might be a good idea to keep looking on a casual basis, 'Just in case'.

Polly agreed, and gave him her CSI baseball cap, declaring him to be an Official Bounty Hunter.


Wilson is a tiny bit miffed that he didn't get a CSI Baseball Cap too, but he made off with his Cold Case Series 1 Box Set and special marker for writing on glass before anyone changed their minds about them.


Johnson Major is finding it quite a struggle to wipe the Evidence Wall clean — I'm afraid there may be the wrong sort of Incident if that glass Evidence Wall falls over and crushes someone...


20/03/2017

INTERNATIONAL HAPPINESS DAY

Today is International Happiness Day* but the atmosphere Chez Wilson would be more suited to International Melancholy Day, for it is now one month since Uncle Zoltan disappeared without trace.

Billi fears Uncle Zoltan may have travelled to the fabled 'Hornets' Graveyard' — where elderly hornets go to die. Without a doubt, Uncle Z is elderly (he's 56, which for a hornet is beyond ancient) so this seems a tragic but plausible explanation.


The Bees have somehow obtained tiny CSI baseball caps (which make it quite difficult for them to see) but even with these new investigative accessories, I fear this inquiry is now a Cold Case.


Wilson asked Polly whether, since Uncle Z was now officially a Lost Cause, he could borrow the Without A Trace box-set. Oh, and the special pen for writing on glass.


Telling me about yesterday's picnic, he said it went pretty well, although Antony kept making sinister remarks about what happened in the film, Picnic At Hanging Rock which rather spoiled TT's appetite...
_____


* I can only wonder who's idea it was to schedule International Happiness Day on a Monday...



19/03/2017

PICNIC AT CHESTNUT RIDGE

I think the constant talk of Uncle Z's disappearance is getting Wilson down, so this morning he announced that he was going out for a picnic, and anyone who wanted to join him was welcome.

At the top of Mallard Drive, next to the Highlands roundabout, there is an area apparently called Chestnut Ridge, where some landscaping work seems to have been abandoned half-way through. 


At the moment it looks a bit of an eyesore, but Wilson reasoned that, if whoever is responsible for it saw people using it and enjoying themselves there, it would encourage them to get the work finished.


Accordingly, he packed his picnic basket with ant-based comestibles and headed off — accompanied by Antony, Tiny Toy, Dave the Pig, Neil the Sloth and Mole the Mole.


I didn't go because I think it's still a bit cold for alfresco dining... and I'm really trying to reduce my ant consumption. To zero. 😕