Taking Wilson's advice, the Bees headed out into the garden to interview any possible Eye Witnesses to Uncle Zoltan's disappearance.
First on their list were the sTone Brothers.
When questioned, sTony admitted that sToneye had seen Uncle Z leaving through a hole in the fence, carrying a small bundle tied in a red spotted handkerchief hanging from a stick over his shoulder — they hadn't mentioned it before because neither of them was aware of Uncle Z's disappearance.
Billi noted this down carefully in a notebook, while Polly searched in the mud for tarsal pad prints, using a magnifying glass loaned to her by Wilson.
Wilson is in the kitchen replenishing his supplies of Very Special Old Reserve Ant Wine.
As a concession to the Bees, he has agreed to donate a (tiny and unspecified) portion of the proceeds of the sales* of his Very Special Old Reserve Ant Wine to fund a reward for the safe return of Uncle Zoltan, of whom there is still no news.
W finds Polly's and Billi's 'constant harping' about Uncle Z a bit off-putting, so to divest himself of their company he has said that, as a Professional Consulting Detective, his advice would be to collect some witness statements.
The Bees thanked him for his suggestion and left, leaving Wilson to get on with decanting his Ant Vinegar into new bottles.
_____
* I say 'sales' but who in their right mind would buy this stuff? After it has 'matured' for a couple of days, Wilson always ends up drinking it himself...
Driving home from the Nissan Dealership, Wilson mused, 'I wonder whether there'd be any discount for the Ant King of Uckfield 2017?'
Then he proceeded to list, in great detail, the many ways in which the Juke surpassed our ageing Ford in wonderfulness and its abundance of gadgets.
I pointed out that the trade-in value of our current car would be massively reduced by the fact that it had signwriting all over it.
W countered this by saying it would be the perfect vehicle for someone who wanted to start a coffee delivery service.
I would have thought the chances of finding such a person and persuading him or her to buy a second-hand car would be vanishingly small, but W assured me that you can sell almost anything on eBay...
Once Wilson had settled down with the first of his many cups of complementary coffee, he asked the salesman countless probing questions about the Juke — questions which he thought I might have been afraid to ask.
Questions such as:
Is it electric?
Is it self-driving?
Has it got an Ejector Seat?
Rocket Launchers?
An Invisibility Cloak?
and perhaps most important of all,
Will this car make my New Dad happy?
We made our way over to the showroom and introduced ourselves to the salesman, who asked whether we'd like a cup of tea or coffee.
I said I'd really like a double espresso, but when I turned to see what Wilson wanted, I found he'd left my side and was running out the door! Calling over his shoulder, he shouted: 'I'll be back in a minute! Well, not more than an hour or two, anyway. Probably.' and he was gone.
This left me in a rather embarrassing position, as I had no idea of the purpose of this meeting — but the salesman returned a moment later with my coffee, and showed me a Juke that was parked in the showroom, pointing out its beautiful lines and cleverly concealed rear doors.
After he had demonstrated the Keyless Entry system I sat in the driver's seat while he explained the automatic headlights and the all-round parking-assist cameras. I must admit, it was very impressive!
Finally Wilson returned, wearing his crown and a smile, proudly carrying his jam-jar containing a single ant.
'Did someone mention coffee? he enquired.
