MID LIFE CRISIS

As we drove out to the Nissan Dealership to keep my Mystery Appointment, Wilson pointed out that a Nissan Juke would be an ideal mid-life-crisis vehicle — sporty, but safer than a Harley-Davidson VR1000 superbike.

I don't know how old W thinks I am, but my mid-life crises are all well behind me now. 

Moreover, the Juke remind W of Lightning McQueen in the Pixar movie Cars — Ka-Chow!

Be that as it may, the Juke IS a very attractive car...

NISSAN

I've been wondering who might be the target demographic for Wilson's Ant Report, because I couldn't think of anyone who needed — or would be even remotely interested in — that kind of information. 

When I asked him, he gave me a withering look and sighed in the manner of someone addressing a child. Or an idiot. 

He explained, in a tone of voice that suggested he was repeating something which he had told me MANY times before, that such information is like gold dust to anteaters all over the world in the run-up to National Ant Day — which, as it happens, falls this Sunday.

So now I know!

In other news, I have received a phone call from the local NISSAN Dealership, confirming my appointment for tomorrow. 

I know absolutely nothing about this, but the young man who called sounded very nice, and as I didn't like to disappoint him I agreed to go.

Still no news of Uncle Zoltan.

WORLD BOOK DAY

To celebrate the 20th World Book Day, please accept a free copy of two of Wilson's books:

Anteaters In Space:
http://issuu.com/friendlydragon/docs/anteaters_in_space_book 

and Wilson Vermilingua's Big Book of Free Stuff:
https://issuu.com/friendlydragon/docs/big_book_of_free_stuff_4issuu

You're welcome!

http://antwars2.blogspot.co.uk/

THE BEES' BLOG

What with Uncle Zoltan disappearing without trace, the Bees are feeling quite low. 

So Wilson suggested that instead of writing their Blog today (which, let's face it, is often filled with quite distressing news about the imminent extinction of bees due to indiscriminate use of pesticides) they go down to the Mall and have a few goes on the Happy Bee ride, while he stays at home to man the phone in case there is news of uncle Z. 

He even gave them a big pile of £1 coins to spend on the machine, in hopes that it might cheer them up.

He's a generous lad, although I know deep down I shall find all the £1 coins missing from my loose change jar...

Billi has taken her 'Have you seen this insect?' banner with her to the Mall. 

Polly thought 'Insect' was more likely to elicit a positive response than 'Hornet' which, she admits, does have 'one or two' negative connotations...

THE ANT REPORT

Now I understand what an 'alternative media platform' means —  Wilson has decided to host his Ant Report on the Blog instead of on broadcast tv, since it will cost him nothing... although with a readership significantly below the 5 Million viewers Sky News had promised.

Out of idle curiosity, I asked Wilson where he was getting the data for his Ants Report, and he said he was using AI. 

'Artificial Intelligence?' I asked, greatly impressed by his resourcefulness. 

'No,' he replied, 'Anteater Intuition — it never lets me down! Well, not often, anyway...'

At least with all this going on, plus the search for Uncle Zoltan still in full swing, Wilson has been distracted from thoughts of his Winter Holiday!

THE HIGH COST OF SPONSORSHIP

Wilson has learned that sponsoring The Ant Report on Sky News would be prohibitively expensive. 

He told the young lady from the Sales Department who called him that he wanted to sponsor a 30 seconds report — not buy the entire SKY Network!

So, he has told me he will find an 'alternative media platform' to host his Ant Report.

I don't really know what that means...