11/02/2017

EATING OUT

As I suggested, today I'm taking Wilson out for a nice meal to get him in a good mood... so I can break the news to him that his FlyPosting activities must cease.

We're going to an out-of-town restaurant to avoid the inevitable embarrassment when W offers to treat me and tries to pay with Uckfield Pounds!


On the way to the restaurant we passed a car dealership, and W asked whether we could stop to take a look round. 


It wasn't quite dark yet, so I agreed — though I forbade him from speaking to any salesmen and utterly prohibited him from signing anything!



10/02/2017

WELCOME HERE — NOT

I've already had a word with Wilson about FlyPosting, but this morning I learned that he'd been out again, sticking up Uckfield Pound Welcome Here stickers on local shop windows.

Over the weekend I think I'll take him out to a nice meal, then when he's in a good mood, sated with food and drink, I'll break it to him that it has got to stop.


In other news, I should like to apologise to the late Sir John Betjeman for the dreadful title of Wednesday's Blog Post. :(



08/02/2017

SUMMONED BY YELLS

My shower was cut short this morning by Wilson standing outside the bathroom door yelling through the keyhole: 

'New Dad! New Dad! Come quick! The ambulance is here! The iMac is back from iMac Hospital!'


Pulling on my bath robe I arrived downstairs in time to see Wilson shaking hands with the 'ambulance' driver and thanking him for returning our iMac so quickly, and for taking such good care of it.


While I signed the driver's receipt Wilson ran off to prepare his 'Welcome Home iMac' party. 


Wilson and I would both like to thank the nice people at AppleCare and at AMSYS for taking such good and prompt care of our iMac!


TT's joke for today is:


'The other day my friend was telling me that I didn’t understand what irony meant. … which is ironic, because we were standing at a bus stop.'


Now that the iMac is home, we shouldn't be requiring TT's comedic services again for a while. 


Thank goodness!



07/02/2017

TT’S JOKES — DAY 6

Uncle Zoltan has prepared a new CV or Resumé to support his appointment as Editor of Vogue UK.

He has said that he is a great Fashion Enthusiast, an admirer of Gok Wan, a regular viewer of "America's Next Top Model" and once lived in a nest in a sweatshop in London’s Rag Trade District in Brick Lane.


If that doesn't swing it for Uncle Z I don't know what will.


[He's putting a brave face on things, but basically, I think he's doomed. :( ]


I doubt he'll be greatly cheered by Tiny Toy’s Joke Of The Day:


’The Pen is Mightier than the Sword — and considerably easier to write with!’


STOP PRESS:
We've just had a phone call from the doctor who's been treating our iMac — she says it is now fully returned to health and will be coming home tomorrow! Yay!
Wilson is planning a party...

06/02/2017

TT’S JOKES — DAY 5

Uncle Zoltan has heard from Vogue UK Magazine about his application to be Editor!

They have asked him to send a full CV (Resumé) because just saying ‘I need a good salary so I can afford to buy my own hive and escape this hell-hole' is apparently insufficient reason to appoint him to this prestigious position...


TT's joke for today: 


'If a Police Dog is chasing you, try not to dive into a tunnel, then on to a see-saw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that!'


No news yet of our iMac…

05/02/2017

TT’S JOKES — DAY 4

Wilson is dealing with his separation anxiety by comfort eating Belgian Buns. 

In spite of their inherent richness, he prepares them in the way his Mum, Mrs Vermilingua, taught him: he cuts the bun in half and covers each piece in slices of butter.


I wonder what they call Belgian Buns in Belgium? Or French Fancies in France? Or Brussels Sprouts in Brussels? Or… well, I expect you get the picture.


TT’s joke for today is:


“A dyslexic man walked into a bra…” 


Which at least has the benefit of brevity.