26/11/2016

THE LURE OF COMMERCIAL RADIO

We usually keep the car radio tuned to BBC Radio 2 or BBC Six Music, both of which are mercifully free from advertising, but lately W has been listening to Radio-X, a commercial station. 

I fear this may have given him an idea to start his own radio station — possibly so he can put his favourite songs on heavy rotation and also advertise his products and services free-of-charge.


I have no idea how he intends to broadcast his station, nor what his target demographic could conceivably be — probably other anteaters who like Peter Dawson records...


While I'm not 100% certain about the Radio Station, the clues are there — the sTone Brothers standing security, the red light, the sign on the door, the queue of auditionees... 


And I've a nasty feeling W has been spray-stencilling on the wall...



25/11/2016

WEDDING SHOES

What with Ms Julia's wedding being so imminent, Wilson insisted on visiting the Wedding Shop in the village to buy some special wedding shoes. 

Since all he will be wearing for the occasion will be wedding shoes and a bow tie, the shoes are pretty important!


Having been shown by an assistant to the 'wedding shoes' display, he whispered to me that he was quite surprised by their appearance... but once he'd tried them on he declared them to be 'Well comfy!'


As we drove back through the village, we saw some workmen putting up the Xmas Lights, so it shouldn't be long before W hears from the Mayor's Office about his offer to switch them on.



23/11/2016

NEXT QUESTION

This morning, Wilson had another question for me.

'Which of these well-known species of ants is the largest?' he asked.
   A: Big Headed Ant
   B: Caribbean Crazy Ant
   C: Bullet Ant


I had no idea of the correct answer, but the Big Headed Ant sounded quite big, so I replied, 'A — the Big Headed Ant!'


W shook his head in a patronising way, observing, 'You really don't have any idea about ants, do you, New Dad? The Big Headed ant's only about 7mm long, whereas the Bullet Ant can be up to 30mm!'


'But you said "C" was always the joke answer!' I protested.


'I think you'll find I said "almost always",' he replied.


'Next question,' he continued, 'when are we going on our holiday to Weston Super Market?'


I think I know the answer to this one, so I said 'Xmas won't be long, and Ms Julia's Wedding is barely four weeks away — I don't think there's time to fit in a holiday this year...'


Wilson looked stricken and, clapping his paw to his head repeated, 'Only FOUR WEEKS? But I have so much yet to do before the wedding!'


Perhaps formulating Quiz Questions can go on the back burner for a little while now — I hope so, because they're making me feel pretty ignorant...



21/11/2016

THE CHASE QUESTION 1

'Okay, New Dad,' Wilson repeated, 'To go through with seven thousand pounds, which of these books did William Golding famously write?

'A: Lord Of The Ants,
'B: Lord Of The Flies, or
'C: Lord Of The Spiders?'


After a few moments he said urgently, 'Need an answer!' and in my panic, in spite of knowing the correct answer, I shouted, 'C!'


'You've chosen "C" — Gotta be, innit? All day long! Do you know this, or was it a guess? 


I shook my head.


'Let's see. Is William Golding famous for writing "Lord Of The Spiders"? — NO! The correct answer is "B". Elementary error there, New Dad: "C" is almost always the joke answer.'


Actually though, that wasn't such a bad question for The Chase — perhaps Wilson is on to something here...

_________

Wilson will pose another question on Wednesday...



20/11/2016

HURRICANE ANGUS

As Hurricane Angus swept across Southern England, Wilson emerged from his bedroom/study [AKA the tumbledryer] to check for storm damage.

In the garden he surveyed a scene of what he later described as 'utter devastation' and gravely intoned, 'This looks like an insurance job, for certain!'


After lunch, he sat with me in the living room to try out some of his 'Chase' questions on me for 'difficultness' before submitting them to The Chase.


'Okay, New Dad, you've got to imagine I'm Mr Bradley Walsh!' He squinted with one eye to simulate poor Bradley's conjunctivitis, and asked, 'To go out with seven thousand pounds, which of these books is William Golding famous for writing?


'A: Lord Of The Ants,
'B: Lord Of The Flies, or
'C: Lord Of The Spiders?'


     To be continued...