12/09/2015

PHOBIC CONQUERS HIS FEAR USING THIS ONE WEIRD TRICK…

Wilson climbed out of his teacup with a steely glint in his eyes. Holding out his paw, he said, 'Money, New Dad, please!' and I handed him £5 note.

He strode purposefully off towards a huge water tank with big transparent plastic bubbles floating in it — I think they're called Zorb Balls or Walking On Water Balls.


He handed over his money and climbed inside one of the spheres, but before the attendant sealed him in, he stuck his head out and told me earnestly: 'I have a "Safe Word" New Dad — if I say it, you must promise get me out immediately!'


'Okay,' I replied, 'What's the word?'


'It's "HELP! HELP! GET ME OUT OF HERE!" Okay?'


I promised, and wished him luck. 


With that he ducked his head back in and the attendant inflated the orb before sealing him inside…



11/09/2015

STORM IN A TEA CUP

Wilson has decided his first ride at the fair will be on the Teacups, a sedate amusement for younger children. 

He said that this is to relax him before he does something VERY BRAVE which he will find EXTREMELY DEMANDING. 


'I shall be facing my deepest fears, New Dad!' he whispered to me in a grave voice. 'But I think I'm ready for it. I HOPE I'm ready for it. But first I need to prepare myself for the arduous task ahead. On the Teacups Ride…''


His announcement has made me almost as nervous as him — I dread to think what he's going to do…



10/09/2015

ALL THE FUN OF THE FAIR

As soon as we disembarked from the boat (or de-boated, as he insisted on calling it) Wilson ran over to the Chair Lift station and jumped on to the first empty chair, once again not troubling to pull down the security bar.

Staring intently at his phone's screen, as soon as some signal bars appeared he texted The Bees telling them that IN NO CIRCUMSTANCES should Uncle Zoltan start taking down the ceiling.


Back on Terra Firma at the top of the ride, W (having safely 'de-chaired') surveyed the fairground, unable to decide what to do first…


Would you prefer it if the text on this Blog were a little larger, like this? Let me know and I'll get onto it!

09/09/2015

A RAINBOW MADE OF STONE

As the ship turned away from the lighthouse and started its journey back to the shore, we had a beautiful view of Alum Bay's Cliffs, famous for their brilliant colours. 

However, as we neared the shore Wilson's phone pinged heralding the arrival of an email.


'It's another message from The Bees, New Dad!' he announced. 'They say that Uncle Zoltan has had a look at the hole, and he thinks the whole ceiling will have to come down. He wants to start demolishing straight away, but Polly thought they should check with you first.'


'No! No!' I shouted, 'Email them back and tell him to leave the ceiling alone — we must let the Insurance Assessor look at it before anyone demolishes anything!'


'Uh-oh!' W replied, 'I'm losing signal!'



08/09/2015

WE ARE SAILING, WE ARE SAILING...

Wilson perked up a bit as we neared the lighthouse, although he was still a little concerned about submerged rocks.

Gripping the handrail firmly with both forepaws he asked me, 'Are these the Needles You Can't Thread?' and I confirmed that was indeed the answer to one of the Riddles of the Seven Wonders of the Isle of Wight.


Then he wanted to know how deep the water was; I crossed my fingers behind my back and said it would probably come up to his knees. The captain overheard and told W, 'I hope you've got long legs then, young man — the depth hereabouts is a couple of fathoms or more!'


W inquired how big a fathom was — I stared the Captain straight in the eyes and announced in my most confident of voices, 'A fathom? That's about six inches, isn't it, Captain?'


The Captain coughed and rubbed his chin, before replying, 'Hmm. Thereabouts, I suppose… if you say so, sir,' before he walked off shaking his head...



07/09/2015

CASTING OFF

Wilson boarded the boat cautiously, looking all around to locate the Emergency Exits, then chose a seat within arm's reach of both the Life Jackets and the Fire Extinguishers.

When the Captain called to his crewmen to Cast Off, W at first thought they were discussing knitting; when he realised what they actually meant — setting the boat free of its moorings — he grasped my hand tightly and closed his eyes.


After a minute or so, I noticed his lips moving; leaning my head closer to his, I could just make out him repeating under his breath, 'We're not going to sink! We're not going to sink!'


Eventually he opened his eyes and looked about him. When he saw even young children playing happily on the deck, I think he started to believe he might survive the trip out to the lighthouse and back after all.



06/09/2015

OVER THE EDGE

The only way I managed to buy a ticket for Wilson was by promising the ticket man that I would keep him under close supervision at all times and while actually on the chair lift he would be sitting quietly on my lap.

Once we had our tickets, though, and before I could stop him, Wilson leapt onto a passing chair and was off!


I followed as soon as I could, but I was quite nervous throughout the trip that W would do something foolhardy, particularly once we passed over the edge of the cliff and began our very steep descent to the beach...