As soon as Wilson had finished his ice cream he ran off to buy his ticket for the Chair Lift, which will carry us high over the cliff edge and down to the beach, from where we will board a boat to take us out to see the lighthouse from close-up. We shall also get a good view of the rather unusual cliff face.
There was a bit of unpleasantness at the ticket office when the man told W that 'Dogs aren't allowed on the Chair Lift, especially unaccompanied dogs — and dogs that talk back!' but I have grown used to this sort of attitude and soon sorted everything out amicably.
At the far end of the car park, just by the entrance to the Fun Fair, there is a model of The Needles Lighthouse, and Wilson insisted on being photographed standing next to it.
He was a tiny bit uneasy because a big seagull on top of it kept eyeing his ice cream, and gulls have had a lot of bad press recently about stealing food from tourists.
He returned the seagull's stare, though, and the bird left him alone — he probably realised that he'd met his match in W!
Okay, now that Wilson has been photographed, off to take the Chair Lift to the beach at the foot of the cliff and the boat out to the real lighthouse!
We took a slow stroll down from the bunker to the cliff's edge, from where there is a wonderful view of The Needles rocks and lighthouse.
As we walked, Wilson questioned me about the new kitchen and I was able to reassure him on every count, so by the time we reached the end of the path he was cheerful and looking forward to seeing the remodelled room.
'Okay, New Dad,' he asked me after briefly surveying the panoramic vista, 'what's next?'
I told him that we would go back down to car park from where we would take the Chair Lift down to the beach, then have a boat ride out to the lighthouse, then come back up in the Chair Lift to visit the Fun Fair.
As long as he doesn't get splashed boarding the boat, I think he'll love it!
We were on our way to see the life-sized replica of the first British Satellite (the one that was successfully put into orbit two days before the Government cancelled the programme because they didn't think satellites had any commercial or military value) and the launch control room, when I noticed Wilson checking his iPhone.
'Have you got any signal down here?' I asked.
In reply he shouted, 'Nooooooooo!' and ran up the stairs and out through the Emergency Exit.
I set off in pursuit, and as soon as I caught up with him asked him what the problem was. It seems he'd just seen The Bees' Guest Blog and noticed what had happened to his kitchen!
'I didn't mean for you to find out like this,' I told him. 'I should have discussed it with you earlier… but I'm having the kitchen completely made-over while we're away. As a surprise!'
'It's certainly a surprise!' he replied irascibly, 'But what about my ants? What if the kitchen installeration men eat them… or let them escape?'
He calmed down after I assured him that I'd left special instructions about the ants, adding that the Bees, Polly and Billi, were looking after them, but he said he didn't want to go back into the bunker as he needed air and time to think…
Remember you can join the Wilson Vermilingua Appreciation Society, completely free, at:
http://tinyurl.com/ppmw78q
And you can join in the conversation with Wilson over on Twitter: @WVermilingua
BEES' GUEST BLOG
Hello everyone, we are The Bees, Polly and Billi, and this is our Guest Blog!
First of all, please excuse the mess in the kitchen!
We'd hoped to bring you some brilliant bee-related news today about a set of Bee Postage Stamps from The Post Office, and the inauguration of World Bee Day… but we do understand that what you must all be worried about is the Big Hole in the ceiling!
We shouted through the hole to the Wasps and asked them to leave, but they ignored us. Then we had a visit from Uncle Zoltan, who offered to go into their nest and talk to them.
Uncle Z bravely flew through the Big Hole in the ceiling and entered the Wasps' nest, where had a chat with them.
He explained that when he was a young bee, barely out of his pupa-hood, he had been engaged to be married. Then at the altar, his fiancée had jilted him. Since then (until he moved in with us) he lived alone in a grand but now ruined bee hive, surrounded by the finery and food of the wedding feast… and the un-cut wedding cake.
Then he revealed a secret that even we had never known — his bride-to-be had been a WASP!
The Wasps were aghast at this news — that one of their own had ruined this elderly bee's life — and to make amends they did as he asked and moved out of the loft.
So, problem solved… except for the Big Hole in the ceiling, obviously!
We're The Bees and we'll see you again next month!
Beeeeeeeeeeeee good!
Once we entered the chilly atmosphere of the bare concrete bunker, Wilson shivered and said he now understood why it was called the 'Cold War.'
The first thing we saw was a Black Knight Rocket, and W was full of questions:
W: 'Might it go off while were here?'
Me: 'No, absolutely not!'
W: 'Even if I accidentally knock it over?'
Me: 'Make sure you don't accidentally knock it over, or we'll both be in trouble!'
W: 'I expected it to be bigger!'
Me: 'This is just an eighth-scale model — the real rockets were WAY bigger than this!'
W: 'Why is it called a "Black Knight" when it's red and green? Does it just go BANG, or do coloured stars fly out the end like on Bonfire Night? Can you get Cold War Roman Candles and Catherine Wheels?'
Me: 'Let's have a look at this thing over here…'
Tomorrow is the first of the month, so The Bees, Polly and Billi, will be guesting on the blog. Find out what 'this thing over here' is the following day!
As we descended into the Top Secret Underground Bunker from where the Cold War rocket tests were controlled, Wilson was very excited.
There were enough other people about that he wasn't at all scared by the gloomy corners, and he was buoyed up by the thought of seeing something Top Secret he could tell everyone about when he got back!
I, on the other hand, couldn't stop worrying about the 'big hole in the ceiling' back at home. I shall try very hard to stop brooding over it, though — the house is fully insured, after all.
