Sleeping arrangements

Our room is very nice — bright with a lot of sunshine — although the suitcases do take up quite a lot of room.

As I think I've mentioned before, when travelling with Wilson I prefer a room with twin beds, although that isn't always possible. 

The problem with sharing a bed with W is that it's like sharing a bed with a cuddly doormat that fidgets and scratches constantly, snores loudly and gets up for snacks in the middle of the night. Sometimes I've ended up sleeping in an armchair out of desperation!

Once we'd unpacked (well, I unpacked — W tends to leave everything in his suitcases because he almost certainly won't need any of it) we headed off into the village in search of food… and adventure! 

A slight misunderstanding...

While I struggled with the cases, Wilson went through to Reception to book us in. 

Addressing the receptionist in a loud, slow voice, he said, 'Bonjour! Do… you… speak... English?' and without waiting for a reply presented his Business Card. 

The receptionist read aloud from it: '1, 2, 3, 4, 5, Pavement Ant' and handed it back. W blushed and exchanged it for one of his  Consulting Detective cards. 

Apologising for the confusion, he explained, 'That was one of my Wilson Vermilingua patent-pending "Name That Ant!" cards.'

The receptionist passed him our keys, and I started to carry the cases upstairs to our room.

Hotel Life

Wilson started to help me unpack the car, but after the first suitcase he said he'd come over 'a bit funny' and would have to have a sit down in the shade. 

I asked him if he was alright, but he disregarded my concern, saying that he was just unused to the 'rich foreign air.'

Happily, though, he felt well enough to give me a lot of advice on the best way to unpack heavy suitcases from a car…

Landfall at last!

The ferry started to dock but Wilson, glancing back over his shoulder, could still see Portsmouth on the mainland. 'Are you certain this is Abroad, New Dad?' he asked me, 'You don't think you've fallen victim to some internet-booking scam?'

I pointed to a roadside sign saying, 'Welcome to the Isle of Wight' which seemed to reassure him and we set off for the hotel.

Passing through a lovely little village, Wilson wound down the passenger window and cried out to some surprised pedestrians, 'Prepare yourself, Wight Island — I am amongst you!'

Turning to me he asked, 'Amongst? Among? I wouldn't like them to think me an illiterate buffoon!' 

I told him I was sure that was not what they'd be thinking.

Taking a deep breath, he remarked, 'This is the smell of Abroad, New Dad! You can feel its differentness, its foreign-ness, the spicy aromas of its strange Native Cuisine… Wonderful!'

The anteater stood on the burning deck / Whence all but he had fled...

After considering the Riddle of the Seven Wonders of the Isle of Wight for a little while, Wilson said he'd like to get some fresh air… though I think what he really wanted was to locate a life-belt and stand very close to it.

We went up to the top deck and he stood bravely by the rail, firmly clutching the bag with Antony and TT in it, pondering the depth of the water while watching the Portsmouth coast recede behind us as we approached the Ryde Ferry Terminal. 

Bon Voyage!

We made ourselves comfortable in the passenger area and waited for the boat to set sail.

Wilson, Antony and Tiny Toy all got very alarmed when the Captain's Safety Announcement started, so I popped Antony in the brown paper bag with TT to calm him down, then tried to distract Wilson.

I gave him a list of the Seven Wonders of the Isle of Wight to ponder over during the voyage. The Seven Wonders consist of: 

   •  LAKE where there is no water;

   •  NEEDLES that you cannot thread;

   •  RYDE where you walk;

   •  COWES you cannot milk;

   •  FRESHWATER you cannot drink;

   •  NEWPORT you cannot bottle; and

   •  NEWTOWN which is very old.

We're off!

We loaded all our suitcases into the car, climbed in and set off — for the Isle of Wight! Hurrah!

It wasn't long before we were driving onto the Isle of Wight Ferry. 

TT caused a bit of a drama by declaring himself seasick as soon as he saw the ship, so I popped him into a brown paper bag to calm him down. 

We parked up on the car deck without further incident and made our way to the passenger deck to find a good seat near the window...