Wilson's secret vice

The Bees shuffled their feet for a minute, looked around to ensure that we were not being overheard, then reluctantly admitted that they too were concerned about Wilson — to such an extent that they'd considered giving him a bottle of their precious Royal Jelly as a tonic.

I asked them what they thought the root of his problem might be, and Billi replied immediately, 'It's that Interweb thing! He spends all night on it, so he never gets any proper sleep!'

This was a revelation to me — I'd noticed he checked his email a lot, but I'd had no idea it had become a problem. From now on I shall keep a close watch on his night-time activities, and make sure he gets out in the fresh air and sunshine more. 

To change the subject to a happier topic, I asked them about their Guest Blog next month, and they're both very excited about their Facts Of Life Part Deux post. Apparently Polly has found an old photo of herself in her Bee Princess frock, taken just before she took part in the Bee Beauty Pageant, which she's looking forward to showing everyone. 

That's worrying news about Wilson, though — I really hope he isn't sexting his friends or joined Tinder…

WE HAVE A WINNER!

Yesterday Ms May Iris correctly worked out that the ant in question was a Honey Pot Ant. There has been so much internet interest in this game that this morning everyone had assembled in the kitchen to see what was occurring — even reclusive Uncle Zoltan!

'Oh, the Gold Sovereign Ant!' he remarked casually as he passed the card in question, 'So-called because of its resemblance to a Gold Sovereign, and frequently passed off as such during Victoria's reign.'

Wilson rolled his eyes and snorted on hearing such codswallop and went off with his crayons to prepare some more cards — he'd only made two, and now they've both been guessed.

However, you're probably anxious to understand the clue Wilson gave for this question, "This mixed-up fellow has false foot phalanges."

Phalanges are the bones in the fingers and toes, so foot phalanges refers to a toe. False is a synonym for phony, so: Phony Toe. Mixed-up suggests an anagram, and an anagram of phony toe is Honeypot, hence the answer. QED.

As Wilson had left the kitchen, I took the Bees aside and asked them whether they'd noticed anything amiss with him. 

They looked awkwardly at each other and shuffled their feet, before Polly took a deep breath and spoke…

A further revelation…

I've been worrying about the clue Wilson gave for this card, so I persuaded him to explain it to me. After swearing me to secrecy, hid did so, and although it's quite involved, I think it is legitimate… as long as you like your clues cryptic.

I told him if he ever wanted a job he might apply to The Times Crossword Department!

Actually, W has been very tired lately, and i little bit withdrawn. I hope he's not sickening for something...

Anyway, here's the next section of the card revealed — there's a close-up view as well, because W says we're just getting to the 'Dead Giveaway bit!'

Game 2

What with all the excitement of yesterday, Johnson Minor has arrived to see what's going on, though I doubt whether he'll be able to join in. 

Wilson has said that today's picture will be easy to guess, but the clue is much more difficult than yesterday's!

While Johnson Major inserted the new card, Antony, in a voice shaking with anticipation and gravitas, read out today's clue: 'This mixed-up fellow has false foot phalanges'

If you think you know the answer, send it in for a mention; if no-one can solve it, another section of the card will be revealed tomorrow!

It's quite exciting isn't it?!

It's Play Time!

Johnson Maj. took out an envelope and held it up; Antony tugged the card a little bit and read the clue from the back: 'This Ant made up half a singing duo in the 70s—80s.'

I then said, 'I'll name that ant in five!' (which is the maximum I could bid).

Wilson countered, 'I'll name that ant in four!' (He was humouring me because, having written the clues and made the cards, he already knew the answer. Not to mention being an acknowledged Ant Expert — never play against him for money!)

Can you Name That Ant? First person with the right answer gets a mention; if no-one works it out, another section will be revealed tomorrow! Remember, we're looking for the variety of the ant, not names like 'George' or Phyllis'...

Name That Ant...

Wilson has told me it's okay to show you his new game, Name That Ant… and to explain the rules to you. So here goes:

First one of the hosts, in this case Johnson Major, takes a small envelope from the box and the other host, in this case Antony, reads aloud a clue printed on the back of the envelope, then pulls the card inside slightly up to expose the number '1' and the top of a picture of an ant.

The two contestants, in this case Wilson and myself, take turns to 'bid' how few sections of the picture need to be exposed in order to correctly identify the ant's breed.

Come back tomorrow to see how the game progresses…

Fathers Day

Wilson burst into my bedroom shortly after dawn this morning to give me a paw-made [it's like hand-made, but harder to do] Fathers Day Card (in which he'd written that I was by quite a stretch the longest-lasting and most tolerant of all his many New Dads — I was very touched!), a Fathers Day fresh-cream cake and a pre-production pack of his new Name That Ant! game.

After opening my card and declining a slice of cake ('It looks delicious, Wilson, I'll have a slice at breakfast time!' 'You don't mind if I have a bit now, do you New Dad? I'll try not to get crumbs in your bed.') he explained the rules of Name That Ant! and we played several rounds. All of which I lost. 

It's a very difficult game, and unlike Top Trumps: Ants! you can't really guess. I'll ask him whether it's alright for me to show you how to play tomorrow…

W told me that he would be cooking Dinner for me tonight (Lasagne, his Mum, Mrs Vermilingua's secret recipe) and he'd bought me a special bottle of beer which we could share this afternoon.

I asked him whether Antony had given him anything for Fathers' Day — he said he didn't know yet because everyone else was still asleep.

Wilson how has his own Appreciation Society here: http://tinyurl.com/oloj6ck