Music Video World Premiere

The sense of expectation in the room was palpable as Wilson pressed the PLAY button with his claw and the video started…

If you can't see and hear the video here, please use this link:

http://youtu.be/3XvG-IxEURU

Wilson assuages his guilt

At this point, showing great bravery and presence of mind, Wilson turned off the robot's Emergency Switch, thus saving the day. 

Ever since then the robot has been a static exhibit in Wilson's 'Museum of Old Stuff And a Robot' but every time he enters he feels the reproachful gaze of the defunct android upon him, and a shiver of guilt passes through him. 

He always maintained that the robot could easily have passed the Turing Test, if only he hadn't been trying to rip everyone to pieces…

So this record, dedicated to The Robot, is Wilson's apology, his expression of regret, his act of contrition for turning off a sentient machine.

Anyway, today everyone has gathered in the living room to see the first ever showing of: (Don't Make Me Be) This Machine -- the Music Video. 

W outlined the above story for the benefit of those too young or too vague to remember the incident, then pressed PLAY on the remote. 

The screen burst into life and there was an expectant intake of breath from the assembled...

A mystery is revealed...

Wilson's parcel arrived last Monday, but we've been too busy to tell you what was in it!

W carried the package proudly into the kitchen, opened it and removed a load of 7-inch vinyl records — I didn't even know they were still a thing. 

When I questioned him about them, he asked me whether I remembered 'The Robot.'

How could I ever forget?

A couple of years ago, Wilson watched a documentary on TV about an orphanage for baby sloths, and apparently each sloth needs a soft toy to cuddle — it seems they can't survive without this comfort. 

W designed and built a robot to help him make teddy-bears, which he intended to send to the orphanage for the sloths (the bears, not the robot!)… but once he switched the robot on it ran amok!

First it ripped apart several prototype teddy-bears, then tried to do the same with little Antony and Wilson!

To be continued...

The Facts of Life

Hi, this is Polly-B and Billi-B, the Bees, guesting on Wilson's 'Antwars 2' Blog once again.

Today we will start to tell you the true facts about the Birds and the Bees, sometimes called The Facts Of Life!

First of all, forget all the fairy-tales about ovipositors and suchlike you may have heard, the truth is much, much worse…

One day each year, called BeeDay, all the young girl bees dress up as Princesses in tiaras and tutus. Some of the boy bees do the same, but make no mistake: the Hive is not an equal-opportunity environment, and they soon get asked to leave.

Then all the little princess bees take part in a beauty pageant, to see which is the most beautifulest, friendliest and kindest bee of all. I'm not going to lie, this does involve a fair amount of eye-gouging, wing-pulling and leg-biting — quite a lot like your human Miss World contest.

Then finally, one princess bee remains conscious and able to walk down the bee-walk [it's like a cat-walk, but smaller and with more pollen] and is crowned Queen Bee!

Next month, we'll tell you what happens thereafter… but before that, here is an important announcement: 

If you should come across an exhausted bee on the ground, it's probably been overworking. Please dissolve a little sugar in a teaspoon of water and offer it to the bee. This could actually save its life!

Online Delivery Tracking

Today I found Wilson in the living room with his MacBook and looking a bit suspicious, as though he didn't want me to see what he was looking at.

'What's up, matey?' I enquired.

W shuffled around in his seat, before replying evasively, 'Um… nothing?'

I raised one eyebrow and fixed him with a stern stare. Antony coughed, and whispered to W, 'You're going to have to tell him eventually!'

W took a deep breath and said, 'Okay, I'm tracking a parcel — but you can't ask me anything about it as it's a complete secret!'

I let it lie, as I know I'll find out soon enough… for good or ill.

Tomorrow is the day of the Bees' Guest Blog. They say that they'll be starting on their series on The Facts Of Life, and suggest you might want to sit down before you start reading it.

Incidentally, my EarWorm seems to have subsided, thanks for asking. 

That is such a relief — it was driving me mad!