Children are half price...

Today Wilson made the finishing touches to the outside of his museum by washing the walls, cleaning the signs etc. It doesn't look too bad now, but I'd think twice about paying actual money to go inside!

Just as he finished there was a ring at the bell. 

'That will be my taxi!' he said. 

I asked him where he was going and he told me he was going to visit his Mum, Mrs Vermilingua, for a few days to 'clear the air' about his broken promise. 

'So you're in charge of the Museum, New Dad!' he blithely announced, handing me the keys. 'Children are half price, but insist on seeing their birth certificates before you let them in!'

And with that he was off. 

I'll start posting again as soon as I hear any news from him… whenever that may be.

Museum opening

In preparation for Sunday's International Museum Day, WIlson is in the Wilson Vermilingua OBE Museum of Old Stuff and a Robot sprucing up the displays. 

First thing this morning he went in to tidy up and check the exhibits for winter damage. 

Surveying the heaps of what I can only describe as 'old junk' he remarked softly to himself, 'This is even cooler than I remember! I really should think about increasing the admission price.'

Lie-in Thursday...

Naturally I can't speak from experience, but apparently Dancing Like a Chicken really takes it out of one. Or so I'm advised by Wilson, who called me to his bedroom this morning to announce that he was 'Totally tapped out!' and needed me to bring him breakfast in bed.

He justified this by telling me that he would require a lot of extra rest today since Sunday is International Museum Day for which he needs to spring clean the Wilson Vermilingua OBE Museum of Old Stuff and a Robot in case any visitors should drop by. 

Do the Funky Chicken!

Wilson was sad to see Uncle Zortan leave, but life goes on and today is Dance Like a Chicken Day! 

He is in the living room dancing like a chicken on the sofa. I don't really approve of dancing on the sofa but, as he says, it's only one day a year and the cushions give him a lot more bounceability.

Antony is trying to dance like a chicken too, while Tiny Toy lies on his back gasping for breath like a chicken. 

sTony and sTonEye are dancing like, as W puts it, a pair of broody hens. 

All in all it's well funky!

Small-talk is difficult...

Wilson made a lot of sympathetic noises, then offered Uncle Z some left-over wedding cake. 

Uncle Z declined, saying that he feared in the circumstances that it might choke him, but asked Wilson to pass on his good wishes to Polly and Billi when next he saw them. 

W then tried to start a conversation about the Eurovision Song Contest, but the old bee said he had no idea what that was, and cared even less… which rather shut down that avenue of small-talk. 

Thankfully, Wilson checked himself before asking whether Uncle Z would like to see a photo of Nina, his would-be fiancée.

Uncle Z's tale...

Wilson explained to Uncle Z that he had missed the wedding by a week, and hinted that in any case he would not have been an altogether welcome guest. 

Uncle Zortan sighed deeply then proceeded to tell Wilson his life story, which was not a happy tale. 

Apparently he attends all bee weddings, as Polly and Billi had warned us, but not with the intention of disrupting the ceremony, he just can't help himself.

It seems that this started when he was a young bee, barely out of his pupa-hood, and engaged to be married. Then at the alter, his fiancée jilted him. 

Since then he has lived alone in a grand but now ruined bee hive, surrounded by the finery and food of the wedding feast… and the un-cut wedding cake. 

Young bees call his hive Havisham House and taunt him when he emerges, calling him Mad Miss Havisham.

Birthday surprise!

Wilson is a bit miffed that my Eurovision tip (The Netherlands) came second, while his scientifically calculated prediction (France) came last. 

However, his ruminations — and indeed his birthday — were disrupted by the unexpected arrival of a large and elderly bee dressed entirely in black. He hovered in front of Wilson and addressed him. 

'Prithee, young sir, canst thou direct me to the wedding of Miss Polly-B and Miss Billi-B?'

W recovered himself and replied, 'Are you Mad Unc… Um. Oh. That's to say, are you Uncle Zortan?'

'The same, sir! The very same!' the bee replied.