24/08/2013

Like Roxy Music, but cheaper

At last I've found out what's going on. Wilson sat me down today to summarise the problem and disclose his solution. 
'Look, New Dad,' he started, 'we've got a brilliant idea that's almost ready to make me, um well US obviously, a million: Oddsies! We've got the packaging and the publicity, but we can't afford to buy the stock. We need to raise money, and raise it fast!'
I nodded, encouragingly.
'So we're going to run a Benefit Concert! We're going to turn the old "Trading4U" warehouse into a pop-up nightclub. Pop-ups are very popular right now!'
'So who's going to perform in this nightclub that people will pay to see, but won't require any fees?' I asked, fearing that I already knew the answer.
'ROCKSY MUSIC!' he exclaimed, triumphantly. 'They are the new Art-Rock Sensation! And as it happens, I am their promoter, manager and songwriter.'

With a flourish he produced a flyer for the band, proclaiming, 'Ta-Dah! What do you think? You can help me fly-post them all over Uckfield! Brilliant or what?'


23/08/2013

A musical prodigy at work...


Wilson is totally on a roll today, having written four more songs: 'Mother of Ant', 'Street Ant', 'Both Ants Burning' and 'Jealous Ant.' 
Right now he's in the conservatory trying to teach them to sTony and sToneye. 
Without, it must be said, a great deal of success. 


22/08/2013

Celebrity Big Brother


No sock shopping again today, as Wilson didn't want to be too far from the telephone. I asked him about this and he said, 'I'm half expecting a call from Channel 5. Celebrity Big Brother starts this evening and they may need me if one of their lesser celebs pulls out at the last moment.'
He went on to explain that while he had no wish to appear on CBB he wanted to decline politely and in person. 'When you're a celebrity, such as myself, it doesn't do to burn your bridges with the Media, you know — you should remember that if you ever get famous, New Dad!'
While waiting for the phone to ring he found time to write some more songs. Today's crop includes 'More than Ants', 'In Every Dream Home an Ant' and 'Ants Are the Drug.'
I have to say that the tunes all sound strangely familiar. As do a lot of the words...


21/08/2013

A new songwriting sensation!


Wilson has really been working the guitar today — he's writing his own material too! 
While he plays and makes up the lyrics, Antony, Tiny Toy and Polly B are suggesting rhymes and writing down the songs. 
So far he's written three new songs: 'Slave to Ants', 'Do the Ant' and 'Virginia Ant.'
Seems like he's channelling Bryan Ferry!


20/08/2013

Antony meets Polly...


Wilson has taken a day off from sock-shopping so he can play with his new toy, Polly. 
Antony, it must be said, is a bit wary of Polly. He probably feels threatened by her presence, having been effectively an 'only child' for so long then suddenly being faced with a rival for Wilson's affection... but I'm sure it will all work out in the end.
I'm pleased to see that my guitar has been brought in from the Wilson Vermilingua OBE Museum of Old Stuff and a Robot — I'd like Wilson to have a proper hobby, to distract his mind from constant thoughts of financial acquisition…


19/08/2013

Wilson strikes gold. Almost.


Today Wilson returned from his regular round of the charity shops with a bulging carrier bag and a big smile. 
'Did you get any socks?' I asked him.
'Well. I thought I'd struck gold,' he replied. 'There was this charity shop with a big "One Day Only" sock event — but they'd sold out by the time I got there. 
'However…' He opened the carrier bag and withdrew a big fluffy bee, 'I did get this! I shall call her Polly, and she will be all the things that the real Polly was not!'
I imagine he means cuddly, affectionate and uncomplaining.


18/08/2013

Kickstarter


Wilson is now wondering whether to try funding his Oddsies! project at Kickstarter.com
I honestly can't see investors rushing to put money into a second-hand odd-sock business, but what do I know about the Rag Trade? Or, for that matter, about the Second Hand trade?
In other news, woodlice have moved into the bee house. The earwigs are not happy.