Wilson surprises me!

Wilson's birthday is only next week, and there has been a growing sense of anticipation around the house. To defuse his excitement I've decided to take him on a trip to Hastings.

We packed his bucket and spade and set off with Antony and Tiny Toy in the CoffeeMobile, but he insisted that we take a detour from our usual route, as there was something he wanted to show me. 

I wasn't prepared for that!

Birthday present

Wilson's birthday gift to Rowan was a pre-production pack of Oddsies! He's made several prototype packs by taking socks from my sock drawer — he's confiscated one sock from each pair I own, thus forcing me to, in effect, wear Oddsies! all the time.

I can't say I'm happy about this, but I must admit that it does save a lot of time in the mornings!

Birthday Barbecue Blues!

Here is Wilson cooking at Rowan's Birthday Barbecue! He repeatedly tells me that 'everything is under control' but he sounds a little less certain each time, and has already singed the fur on both his arms. 

I wish he would be more careful with the barbecue lighter fluid — this looks less like cordon bleu, more like conflagration!

Birthday preparations

Tomorrow is Rowan's birthday! Rowan is of one of Wilson's closest friends, and Wilson has promised to cook a celebratory barbecue. He's popped in to Tesco to buy the ingredients. 

I imagine I'll be spending the rest of today helping him thread ants onto kebab skewers...

CHECK THIS OUT! 

April has been a very busy month for Wilson Vermilingua OBE!

I've just uploaded the sixteenth monthly volume of Ant Wars II: April 2013 so you can catch up on anything you've missed.

Please tell all your friends, as it is Wilson's stated ambition for his life story to be, as he puts it, "As Popular Easter Eggs!". 

You can download it or read it online at:

http://issuu.com/friendlydragon/docs/ant_wars_ii_april_2013

You can now SUBSCRIBE to Wilson's blog by email!

The BLOG is right here: http://antwars2.blogspot.co.uk/

You can TRANSLATE Wilson's blog into other languages!

You can COMMENT on Wilson's blog — and he'd love to hear from you!

Photographs of the lovely WILSON are by Tamanduagirl at 

http://www.livingwithanteaters.com/ and are used by kind permission.

Wilson tells me a joke...

In the resulting mood of relief and jollity following Tiny Toy's recovery, Wilson told me a joke. This in itself is an unusual event as he isn't a 'joke' kind of person. However, he sat opposite me and said:

'How many ants does it take to change a lightbulb?' I shook my head and he continued, 'It doesn't matter — I'll eat them in the dark then get my New Dad to change the bulb!'

Giggling uncontrollably, he told me he was considering a career as a stand-up comedian, just in case his Oddsies! enterprise failed, then proceeded to tell me another:

'What's the difference between a Queen Ant and The Queen?' I shook my head again, and he thought for a moment and said, 'Well, one is The Queen of England, and the other… Oh, hang on, I haven't really thought this through.'

Panic over!

Tiny Toy was eventually located under the sofa. Wilson says Antony told him that Tiny Toy thought the socks were a bit obvious so chose a more unexpected hiding place. 

This is all too much for me.

Missing Person!

Ant Wars II:

We're having a bit of a crisis! Antony was playing hide-and-seek in a pile of Wilson's prototype Oddsies! and has lost his Tiny Toy somewhere. It was apparently Tiny Toy's turn to hide, and Antony couldn't find him; all he can tell W is that his toy is inside one of the socks. Probably. 

Antony's alternative theory is that his toy has been abducted by sTony, but I discount this on account of sTony being an inanimate (though admittedly sinister) statue.

A major search has ensued — W rummaging through all the socks while Antony looks on anxiously — so far without success. I have had to physically restrain Wilson from calling the Emergency Services. The atmosphere here is pretty tense!