Existential doubt...

Business is slow at Wilson Vermilingua Industries (medical division) - Bringing Succour to a Suffering Public… and I thought this might be why Wilson was a little reserved and quiet today. However, that proved not to be the case.

He took me to one side and told me that, after watching 'Moon' yesterday he was afraid he might not be 'real' and that his family, even his mum, Mrs Verlilingua, and all his step-brothers and -sisters might be 'implanted memories'. 

I told him he was as real as anyone I know, but it's hard to allay existential doubt…

Last-minute nerves

The posters are up, the magazine with his advert in it has come out, Wilson is now just waiting for the orders to arrive. In the picture you can see him at his office awaiting the postman.
In the evening, after what W calls 'close of business', to help us relax we watched the wonderful British SciFi movie, 'Moon'. I really enjoyed it, and I thought W did too, but he seemed a little withdrawn and thoughtful afterwards, and settled down in bed much earlier than usual. 
Probably he's just nervous about his business launch… he has a lot resting on it!

Hygiene concerns...

I've been feeling much better today… until I went upstairs and found the bath full of dark brown lumpy goop. I went to let it down the drain but Wilson went apoplectic, telling me it's his mother's secret recipe soup, containing some of his best ants. 

I asked him whether he cleaned the bath before he put the soup in it, but he changed the subject and bustled off to do some work on his e-commerce website.

New Dad insults my mum, Mrs Vermilingua!

< Well really! I'm beginning to think New Dad doesn't want to get better. Half way through his fourth bowl of ant soup he stopped and refused to eat any more. Even after he'd thrown up, he wouldn't touch another drop. 

Some of my best ants went into that soup. Also, there's almost a bath-full of it upstairs, and I can't eat all of it myself. I shall have to remind him how my mum, Mrs Vermilingua, calls it "Ant Penicillin". By not eating it he's insulting her recipe and her medical knowledge, so I'm sure he'll change his mind about it eventually.

Anyway. I've booked a full-page advert in next month's SkateBoard magazine - the entire back page. This is the absolute prime spot for an advert. I shall shoulder the burden of promoting my medical empire myself; I have broad shoulders. 

Actually, I don't have any visible shoulders at all, but you know what I mean. >

Wilson surveys his Empire...

Using the refund from his gym membership Wilson has rented office space for what he describes as his Medical Supplies Empire. Here he plans to manufacture, pack, store and generally mastermind sales and advertising of his sticking plasters. 

It's a lovely office… I just wish he'd chosen somewhere a little less premium, a little less… expensive. 

However, W assures me that appearance counts for everything in the Big Pharma industry, and his office is in the 'absolute prime spot'!

Prime Spot

Never having been a person to waste time, Wilson has already bought the poster space outside Boots the Chemist - he points out that this is the absolute prime spot in Uckfield for a medical product. 

I'm a little worried that his strap-line "You never know when you might need one" would be more appropriate for condoms than sticking-plasters… but I'm not mentioning this, lest he bring out a range of novelty condoms. I daren't think what the adverts for them might look like  :-/